The Jarring Reminder:
Traveling has always been my passion. The thrill of exploring new places, immersing myself in different cultures, and tasting delicious cuisines is my ultimate joy. So, when I planned my dream trip to Italy, visiting Venice, Florence, Rome, and Milan, I expected nothing less than euphoria. Instead, I was reminded that as someone who battles with depression, I take myself, warts and all, everywhere I go.
The Italian Dream
Italy is a treasure trove of experiences. Venice with its romantic canals, Florence with its Renaissance art, Rome with its ancient history, and Milan with its modern chic. Each city promised a unique adventure. I was certain that indulging in my favorite activity—traveling—would be the perfect remedy for my mental struggles. To be fair, and to give a little background, in my mental health journey, I am on and off the antidepressant as per my doctor’s advice. During this time, I had been back on medication for three months and I had no reason to postpone the trip as it had been planned way in advance and I wanted to be there for a friend’s half-century birthday celebration.
The Harsh Reality of Mental Health Illness
But mental health illness doesn’t play by the rules. Despite being surrounded by breathtaking art, history, and landscapes, I felt an unshakeable sadness and detachment. The vibrant colors of Venice’s canals seemed dull, Florence’s masterpieces felt distant, Rome’s history lost its awe, and Milan’s fashion-forward vibe couldn’t lift my spirits. It was as if a gray cloud followed me from city to city, dimming the light of my experiences.
The Burden of Expectations
This being my second time in Rome and my trip starting there, I planned on resting for most days there to save my energy for the cities I had not explored before. I had hoped that traveling through Italy would be a wild and amazing city hop filled with wonderful memories. Instead, it added a layer of frustration. How could I not be happy in such amazing places? I felt guilty for not enjoying the trip as much as I should. This guilt only deepened my sadness, creating a vicious cycle.
Understanding the Struggle
Living with a mental illness means accepting that joy isn’t always guaranteed, even during activities that should theoretically bring happiness. What was exciting last year might not be so this time around and it does not mean it will not be exciting again, depression leaves no room for enjoyment, even in your favorite dish/wine or person. Mental health illness can overshadow even the most breathtaking views and thrilling experiences, making you feel isolated and disconnected from the world around you.
Coping Strategies in those foreign alleyways
My journey through Italy taught me some valuable lessons about managing mental health while traveling. Here are some strategies that helped me cope:
- Set Realistic Expectations: Accept that travel might not be a cure-all. It’s okay to have moments of sadness even in the most beautiful places.
- Stay Connected: Reach out to loved ones or a therapist. A supportive conversation can provide comfort and perspective. If traveling with someone/group, let them your needs as soon as you become aware of what you need for that moment.
- Practice Self-Care: Incorporate self-care routines into your travel. Whether it’s getting enough sleep, eating well, or taking time to relax, these small acts can make a big difference.
- Be Flexible: Allow yourself to take breaks and modify your itinerary. Sometimes, a quiet moment in a park or a leisurely coffee break can be more restorative than sightseeing.
- Have a Plan: Know the mental health resources available at your destination. Research local clinics, emergency numbers, or telehealth services in advance.
Facing the gray and embracing the Journey
Traveling as a person living with mental health is challenging, but it doesn’t mean the journey is any less valuable. My Italian adventure reminded me that mental health needs attention no matter where I am. It’s important to acknowledge my feelings, seek help when needed, and be gentle with myself.
While Italy didn’t miraculously cure my mental health illness, it offered me moments of beauty and reflection. I learned to appreciate small joys and navigate my travels with a balance of exploration and self-care. The world is vast and full of wonders, and my experience, though different, is still meaningful.
So, I’ll keep packing my bags and setting off on new adventures, knowing that the journey is as much about inner exploration as it is about discovering new destinations. And that’s a journey worth taking, one step at a time, with or without the antidepressants!
What’s been your travel experience as someone living with a mental health illness?